My Story

Let me just dig deeper about my "walk" at the moment.
Some of you may know and some may not, but I got "saved" when I was 9 on the beach by my cousin. At that point in my life, I didn't know what it was like to be a true follower of God, Christ, or however you would like to put it. I went to high school, was pretty much a "good person". I partied a little like everyone does...I lost my virginity to my first "puppy love" when I was 17. But to me that was basically the norm. I didn't think that I was out of control in any way. Because overall, I was a "good person". Anyways, after I graduated is where I became a little crazier. I got a job as a server in OC (party central)...not a good idea. I partied every night, broke up with my boyfriend (1st puppy love) at the time and began to be overwhelmed by the many guys I worked with that had a interest in me. Not going to go into much detail but that summer, I made some horrible choices. I calmed down a bit after summer but continued to work there for the next 2 summers all the while making bad decisions. I went to college, stopped working there, and moved in with my 2 best friends. Throughout college, I did pretty well in school, only partied on the weekends with my girls. I'm not going to lie, I had a great time in college. I made some amazing friends who I'm still close to these days. We had a wonderful time living together for 2 years and I don't think I would trade those days in for anything.
Ok, might I add something in that is VERY important. Throughout high school, the crazy summers, and college, I went to church EVERY Sunday. I'd be drunk on Saturday night but I would wake up to go to church every Sunday morning...hung over or not. Obviously, it didn't click for me for quite a while because I continued this behavior for probably 4-5 years. Finally, I had enough. I wanted to try my best to follow Jesus but in all honesty it was a pretty hard decision. 1. I didn't have any friends that were followers of Jesus. 2. I was scared what other people would think of me. 3. I didn't want to lose any of my friends because I "changed".

But I decided on December 4, 2004 to follow Jesus. My journal entry from that day reads, " I made a crucial decision today. No more going out and getting drunk. It's not worth it. I do so many stupid things. It gets me in trouble. I don't just want to hook up with random guys. I want to find a faithful boyfriend. Being drunk and hooking up is not going to get me there. I'm going to be mature, focus my time on God, school, staying in shape, my friends, and my family. Today I got my cross. Today, I'm gonna start being faithful to Him."

God was doing something in me in that moment of my life and I'm so thankful for that. My mom had bought me an early Christmas gift that day and it was my cross necklace. I was determined that if I was going to display such a meaningful reminder around my neck, I needed to get right and follow the One who died on the Cross for ME.

So that's how I came to be. You know the craziest thing is that God brought Ryan and I together on December 19th at a church service. Just 15 days after I made my commitment! I believe whole heartedly that God wanted me to pursue Him before pursuing guys. I believe that God sent Ryan in my life to help me. I believe whole heartedly that God meant for Ryan and I to be together in life. I believe that God is truly amazing for giving many chances to follow Him, for giving me my husband, and to give me so much grace and love.

So that's it, there's my story. I started typing this blog about something else and somehow, my fingers just started going and was led to type about my story. I do think my story is extremely important for youth or anyone who feels tempted. There are a lot of "normals" today in our world. Like sex before marriage...being a virgin before you get married is almost unheard of these days and society says that it's ok to have sex before you are married. Can I just tell you something...if you haven't had sex yet, don't. Don't do it until you are married to the one God sends for you. You don't realize it at the time but sex holds so many consequences. Mostly emotional baggage. Trust me, I made a lot of mistakes when it came to sex. Focus on the Lord and center your relationships around Him.

I'll leave you with my journal entries following my decision to be a true Christian and after meeting Ryan. 12-24-04: "Christmas evening was nothing short of amazing. I got a boyfriend who is possibly the most terrific guy yet. He is amazing. Ryan Fields Jackson. My man of God. He's Christian. He's funny. He's trustworthy. He's a wonderful listener. I could go on and on...smile won't come off my face. Thank you God!" And this one doesn't have a date but I believe it was sometime in January 2004: "Ryan's the true thing. True love. This is a never-ending love. I'm marrying him. He completes me. I love him more than anyone could ever imagine. He's a blessing sent by God." Boy, was I love struck or what? =) One thing I have learned over the years is that I could not love Ryan if I didn't love God. God is in the midst of our relationship. He shows us how to love...how He loves us so we can love each other and everyone else in the same way.